
But he remained torn over his feelings about the Hope Mission experience. He didn't see how he could have reacted any differently. At times he was amazed that he had tolerated the abuse as long as he did. I probably should have stood up and told the witch to go to hell.
Nothing seemed to resolve his quandary and he knew he didn't want to speak to Joan about it again. Her animosity toward Cartwright didn't help at all, in fact it only made Ben feel defensive about Cartwright. Maybe, Ben thought, Cartwright made an honest mistake in putting me in the clutches of that hag. Perhaps he thought she'd act civilly and not attack me as she did. His books make it clear that learning in the Perennialist tradition isn't easy, that it requires stamina and persistence--and entry into the unexpected.
Several days later he received a call from Joan. She was still in a state of depression over the election. "You just watch what Binkley and his controllers--Gorgon and Warfield and company--do to this country. They're going to turn it into a total police state." Joan was uncontrollably bitter over the defeat of Randolph.
"Oh, we'll just have to wait and see," Ben opined.
"Wait and see! You won't see it, you idiot! It'll happen imperceptibly and before we know it we'll be kowtowing to Gorgon and his fellow brainwashers."
Ben could see that Joan was in a real state. He hardly knew what to say. "Well, why don't we have dinner together and try to put it out of our minds?"
Joan shouted. "That's just what they want us to do, put it out of our minds." She hesitated. "Oh, Ben, you're such a wimp. You never stand up for what you believe. You've probably gone back to that fake guru, Cartwright. You're just a doormat."
Ben said nothing and Joan realized that she'd hit the nail on the head.
"You poor miserable milksop!" Joan exclaimed. Her exasperation owerwhelmed her. "You're off genuflecting to that charlatan while Frank and I try to expose Gorgon! I don't want anything more to do with you, Ben!" She hung up.
Ben felt devastated by Joan's denunciation on the phone. He still had very deep feelings for her, but he couldn't tolerate her disrespect. Her attack was almost as bad as the bag lady's--maybe worse--because Joan knew him personally, knew who he was.
Ben hadn't heard from Tailor or Cartwright after sending in his evaluation of the New York City episode.
The next Monday, Ben received a call from Tailor.
"Dr. Emerson," Tailor said, in his usual clipped tone, "if you would like to attend this Thursday
evening's session at the Institute, you would be welcome."
"That's fine," Ben replied, not quite knowing what to say.
"During the session," Tailor continued, "you'll be able to review your recent experience at the Hope Mission in New York City."
You damned right I'd like to "review" my preposterous experience at the marvelous Hope Mission, Ben thought to himself after he had hung up. He wondered if he ought to take the time and money to attend this meeting, especially since he was still seething over the indignity he'd been subjected to. Maybe Joan's right about Cartwright, that he's nothing more than a charlatan.
But somewhere in his depths Ben still felt there was something valuable in Cartwright's teachings. He couldn't shake the conviction that he needed to study with Cartwright in a more formal way. God knows I've already learned a great deal about my sorry self from dealing with Cartwright. It hasn't always been a bed or roses, certainly, but I have learned. Ben phoned the Institute in Healdsburg and told Ms. Spencer that he'd like to attend the Thursday evening session. She informed him that it would be appropriate for him to arrive about 6 PM for some preliminaries.
On Tuesday, the news was on all the TV channels that Joan had been fired from her job as talk show hostess. The reason given was that she had become "non-objective" in her choice of guests. Charlie Rose, it was announced, had been given his old job back.
Ben felt terrible for Joan but he knew that he must wait for her to call him. It would be necessary for them to re-establish their relationship on a firmer basis before they could proceed--if ever.
On his flight to California, Ben reflected on what he would say to Cartwright, if he
got the chance. He certainly was going to demand some kind of
explanation--if not apology--as to why he'd been subjected to the
debasing experience with the bag hag.
Knocking on the door, Ben was met by Salik, the young man who had been at the meeting Ben had attended earlier in Healdsburg. He ushered Ben into the meeting room where Cartwright was seated, as before, in the midst of a circle of people.
Ben was thunderstruck to see that the ghastly bag lady was seated next to Cartwright in the same horrible rags, with some of her worshippers also in attendance.
Ben's first impulse was to rush out without saying a word to anyone. My god!, Ben thought to himself, am I to be subjected to more humiliation? What in the hell is going on?
Barely managing to control himself, Ben sat down at the edge of the circle of people, not daring to look at the witch. Cartwright turned to him and made a small head motion in recognition.
On the other side of Cartwright was a scantily-clad young black lady, her large breasts straining at the loose blouse she was wearing. Her short short skirt was hiked up above her thighs, revealinig her voluptuous long legs. She had black hair and unusually delicate skin. Cartwright had one arm around her shoulder and his other hand rested on her leg. Cartwright was dressed in what appeared to Ben to be a 1960s hippy outfit, with maroon and navy striped cordurory trousers and a Sargeant Pepper jacket. He interrupted Green in mid-sentence.
"Baby," he said to the sex kitten next to him, "why don't you go get some of our righteous South American weed so we can share a joint with the Guv?"
"Oh, my lifestyle and 'interests,' as you call them," Cartwright said quickly, "exactly meet your expectations, Governor. It's just that you aren't aware of your prejudices and we went to a great deal of effort to respond to them."
Green looked at Cartwright with contempt. "I thought you had knowledge, some real power."
Cartwright also rose. "I have power enough to control what you'll say to yourself whenever you think of this event."
Green sneered. "You could never control what I think after this despicable exhibition of depravity."
Cartwright spoke very precisely. "Whenever you think of this event, you'll say to yourself, 'Cartwright is a fool!'"
Green and his aides strode out of the room in a rage.
After the Governor had left, the bag lady also stood and left the room, glancing back at Cartwright as she shut the door. Ben was in a state of extreme agitation. He knew he could not speak to Cartwright in this condition. He stood up, not knowing what he would do next.
"Oh do be seated, Dr. Emerson," Cartwright said in an unimpassioned tone. "We'll next want to hear about your experience in New York City."
This was too much for Ben. He remained standing and glared at Cartwright. "My 'experience,' as you call it, was a humiliating debasement which I shall never forget!" His rage propelled him on. "I was going to demand an apology, but now," he turned to the door through which the hag had exited, "I see you've invited the witch here to continue my defamation." His fury was so overpowering that he could hardly continue. "I guess I've wasted some more precious money in showing up at your vilification ceremony. The Governor's repudiation of your improprieties seems the fitting response to your infamy."
Ben began to stride out of the room, but turned as someone entered through the same door the hag had exited through previously.
Ben remained seated, too thunderstruck to move or speak.
Cartwright arose and motioned to the woman. "Let me introduce my teacher, this is Rabia."
Without knowing why, Ben burst into tears, putting his head in his hands and leaning forward.
After a minute, the woman walked over to him and touched his quivering shoulders. "You've been given a great boon."
Ben arrived at Cartwright's compound promptly at 5:55 PM, parking his rental car in the lot. Ben noticed that a white stretch limousine was also parked nearby, which made Ben wonder just who might be visiting Cartwright. The winery workers were everywhere in evidence as Ben walked to the large house. Evidently a new pressing was in full motion. The fall colors of the leaves of the trees and the plants surrounding the compound were breathtaking and the birds were creating a symphony with their varied songs. The whole atmosphere of the scene seemed strangely luminous to Ben.
Ben was so stunned by her presence in the room that he hardly noticed that Governor Green was sitting across from Cartwright and speaking animatedly. His astonishment at Green's presence only added to his totally bewildered state of mind.
This statement was evidently the last straw for Green. He rose to leave. "Well, I can see, mister Cartwright, that your lifestyle and 'interests' don't meet my expectations!" He glared at the bimbo and the bag lady with revulsion.
What Ben saw was so staggering that he was forced to sit in a chair nearby. Through the door entered the woman in the portrait on the wall of Cartwright's meeting room. And in her hands were the bag lady's clothes which she had evidently just taken off.
