Never underestimate the power of obnoxious gambits in your Guruship. If something worked for earlier generations of sorcerers, mystagogues, exorcists, medicine women, and comic books, it just might work for you. Overlook no possible incantation or bedevilment however extreme or inappropriate. Remember, your Faustian predecessors were no dummies, they had to make a living too. There's still a lot of magic hidden in the outmoded subterfuges.

As with other elements of your teaching, you are very likely to pervert and misapply this elemental teaching in this chapter. Just don't blame the author; all he's doing is showing you the Path. If you fall into a Morass of Stupidity, that's your morass.

An oft-overlooked shuffle is the Impending Disaster scheme. You're brainwashed, like all the rest, by the "cute" New Yorker cartoon of the bearded obsessive carrying the sign: The World Ends January 31 (and you see there's a daily, tear-off calender on his sign, so he can update the Dire Warning).

You jeer, but . . .

It took me years to explore the cavernous labyrinths of this Impending Disaster wile until I finally glomped onto its Vital Force. Every new generation of Henny Pennies believes the Sky is Falling Down. Because they want to believe it. Life always seems horrible to horrible people and threatening to threatening people. So you've got a built-in confidence-game in which people have built-in confidence.

Right here I had best turn aside to explain, once for all, that when I advise you to use something which seems like deceit, it is only for the purpose of getting your customers' attention. You'll find in this book that behind every seeming "sharp practice" is a Sharp Practice..

People are always going to follow some Doomsday Prophet. All the better if you can use their gullibility to steer them into your Authentic Teaching. But in this instance, as in most, there is something deeper in the Impending Disaster trapfall. By creating your own Judgement Day paradigm you can thereby show how foolish is the idea that Things are anything but a Bowl of Cherries.

This ploy of getting people to believe something for the exalted purpose of showing them how stupid they are to believe it, is part of your Service to Mankind. Never question your motives in such a ruse.

The Doomsday Schema I recommend - because of its absolute absurdity - is the Elitist Conspiracy Theory. Hoary with age, this theory has gone through hundreds of versions in which Jews, Masons, Catholics, Bilderberg members, dope-smokers, and eco-terrorists have been put in the role of Machiavellian Schemers. The conspiracy scam has been marvelously developed by such Important Thinkers as Weishaupt, The Spotlight newspaper group, Oliver Stone, Lyndon LaRouche, and Gary North who warns us that Wall Street is Going to Crash. Besides, very few people any longer believe that the sky is literally falling down.

As with all your borrowing of techniques and theories from the past, you must up-date and modernize your Universal Conspiracy ploy. Study what kind of conspiracy nonsense is most popular - Robert Anton Wilson is a good source. As of this date, the following is probably the best Elitist Conspiracy ploy going - because of its boob appeal and its utter stupidity.

Explain that you have concatenated your Fact Sheet through superhuman efforts at Seeing Through and Behind and Between all the media Lies, False Leads, and Subterfuge. Explain in detail how your Dedicated Search took you on a trail through the Pentagon, the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Madonna fan club, and finally to the Ultimate Source: the Jack Ash Society. Gather together a Concerned Group of Conspiracy Hunters, outline your dogma as to who and what constitutes the Conspiracy - and the Impending Disaster. Never let up on the Paranoia and Obsessiveness of your customers. You'll probably need to skim through a book on economics, just to get the jargon - even a book on politics wouldn't hurt.

I quote from some of the Ash Society's most recent blather:

"There is an Elitist Conspiracy Group of International Bankers who use any political ideology, any politician, any agency or device, to maintain their Absolute Control over every person's life.

From the Grey Book With Red and Black Trim

What a fantastic, calculating, and astute group, you say, But, wait, remember that this is just a theory. Even though it is, I admit, very plausible, even convincing. But it must be somewhat convincing to hook your marks.

As long as the Conspiracy Hunting Ploy works well for you - money-wise - continue it. But sooner or later the group will flag in its zeal or - worse yet - begin to suspect your Fact Sheet. Don't be discouraged. This is what you've been expecting. (It takes a mighty sharp guru to pull this off.) Slowly give the group devious hints that your theory May have been a cleverly calculated ruse on your part. In a Teaching during a group meeting, hint by throwing in such phrases: The Highest Wisdom is to see through your illusions - even illusions about conspiracies.

Gradually - as rapidly as your group demands - let them know that you have actually been Teaching them about their own stupidity and gullibility. And let them know, now, that you are available to those wise enough to enjoy being tricked into seeing through illusions to their stupidity. ²

Inevitably, some members of the group will leave in indignation and disgust. But the few customers you get this way will be solidly hooked.

To disillusion your marks, explain that the International Bankers have actually created the Jack Ash Society as a "cover." The Society "appears" to be against the International Bankers, but its purpose is to present an image of a bunch of rabid fanatics which discredits the whole International Conspiracy theory. People understandably dismiss the wild-eyed Society members and their maniacal theories, and everything's hunky-dory.

The sky isn't even moving!

¹ You should quote yourself often.

² You might even write an entire book about the absurdities of Guruhood for the Exalted Purpose of showing people how easily fooled they are.