"Sherard Blaw, the dramatist who had discovered himself,Sakiand who had given so ungrudgingly of his discovery to the world."
You can adapt this General Answer to your peculiar needs and situation. Here's what I do whenever I feel the faintest hint of doubt creeping into my mind about my Doing Good as a Guru.
I have a favorite church I go to on a Sunday morning because I know the particular minister performing will restore my unshakeable faith in myself. He is one of those clerics who dresses, acts, lives, and talks like a 1960's Hippy - because he thinks he's hip and because he has terrorized his congregation so that they dare not criticize anything Post-Modern-Decadent.
The Hippy Scene, he has pounded into them, is Original Christianity, and any old fogey who thinks that these New-Fangled Goings On are of the Devil is a Hypocrite. Since his church is full of old fogeys, he has been very successful.
I renew the sense of my own Supernal Mission by watching this Barbarian as he struts and preens across the church dais, stomping noisily in his thoroughly scuffed boots, Gestapo-style, and sawing the air with his nervous, brutish paws, excoriating and pontificating with thoughtless abandon. For a brief moment I feel the Ancient Embarrassment of seeing someone make a complete ass of himself - and not having even an inkling of it. But beyond those subtle, and somewhat dangerous emotions, is the sense that I am Right because this loathsome Beast is so Wrong. I slip a penny into the collection plate - a disguised Judgement - and walk out of the crumbling edifice a New Guru.
A Messianic Complex is essential for any Modern Guru. There are plenty of ordinary businesses - such as dentistry or topless dancing - where such a complex is helpful but hardly necessary. You must remember that you are in a trade that has no built-in prestige. Even today you sometimes hear people sneer about Gurus: "I wouldn't want my sister to buy a used car from one."
If you are the kind of person who needs clear guidelines, an established niche within the social disorder, then Modern Guruship is not for you. You will have to carve out your own Place, my boy, in this Old Universe - nobody's going to hand you a guru practice on a silver platter.
Rather than be disheartened by this, you should see it as an Exciting Challenge. You won't be assigned a desk and fifty clients - like the ordinary social worker, say - but there are compensations. The stratosphere's the limit. True, there won't be anyone around to tell you what to do. But also - and this is immensely important - there will be few people around telling you what you can't do.
To sustain yourself in such shifting sands of Doctrinal and Practical Anarchy you will have to believe fervently in your Mission. You must have a sense that there is something (e.g. dishonesty) or someone (e.g. Satan) that you should destroy - or at least make unpopular. And you must also feel that you have an earth-shaking Message to share with Mankind. It was once easier to whomp up the conceit of a Mission and a Message - in a simpler age of Dogmatic Belief and Undeniable Calls from on High. But our era is not without its own gimmicks of psyche-twisting.
I outline several in the form of Meditative Dialogues that are peculiarly helpful in sustaining your Messianic Complex.
Dialogue 1: "Spiritual Teeter Totter
Q: Do you know anyone with any purer motives or with more desire to serve Mankind?
A: No.
Q: Do you know anyone with any less knowledge or skill than you?
A: Sure!
Q: Do you know anyone with any less pure motives or with less desire to Serve Mankind?
A: Absolutely!
Q: Well then?.....
Dialogue 2: "Messianism Requires Dogmatic Certainty"
Q: Are most gurus charlatans, leading their disciples astray, and using them for their own devious purposes?
A: Unquestionably.
Q: Are most gurus self-deluded, uneducated, vain, boring, money-mad, sexual deviates?
A: Undeniably!
Q: Are you any of those things?
A: I don't think so.
Q: YOU DAMN WELL BETTER KNOW YOU AREN'T!. Or if you are, learn to fake it, boy.
Dialogue 3: "The Messiah"
Q: O Master, where will I find Truth?
A: From me, my son.
Q: How will I know it is the Truth, Benevolent One?
A: If I tell you it is the Truth, Chela.
Q: Can you slip me a little Truth now, Infinite Teacher?
A: Not yet my impatient fawn.
Q: How can I be sure I am Destined to Serve the Truth?
A: Didn't I tell you you were, fella?
Q: But......
A: But nothing, you upstart. When you keep up your payments in my Transmigrational Journey Starward, you're assured of Infinite Bliss and a Role in the Cosmic Riddle.
Q: But......
A: But nothing, imbecile. You know who I am, don't you?
Q: I think so.
A: Think so! You ninny. I've told you often enough who I am!
Q: Well, yes. I guess I know who you are.
A: Then as my anointed emissary to the marks on Market Street, who am I?
Q: I'm not sure.
A: O, how long will I be with you, Jerusalem?
Q: What?
A: Nothing. What is an anointed one called, ignoramus?
Q: Uh, anointed one.... You mean a Christ, a Messiah?
A: Yeah! Now you've got it.
Internal Dialogue: "Self-Knowledge"
Self 1: How can you call yourself a guru? When you delight in lustful, deceitful, perfidious fantasies and behavior?
Self 2: I have never said I was an angel. But a modern guru doesn't have to be perfect.
Self 1: Perfect? What about common morality?
Self 2: You're a part of my out-moded super-ego. Your old brand of moralism is no longer In. We're more Honest and Open these days.
Self 1: Honest? Don't you realize you have to know yourself to be honest?
Self 2: What do you mean?
Self 1: If you're gong to say what you think or feel, you have to know what you really think or feel.
Self 2: Nonsense! We just say whatever comes up at the moment. No more of your archaic repression. And look where we've gotten with our new-found Honesty and Openness.
Self 1: Yes, just look.
Dialogue 4: "The Master-Builder"
Patient: My guru practice isn't gong very well.
Therapist: How badly is it going?
Patient: I just lost my latest pigeon.
Therapist: You shouldn't use that term for your customers.
Patient: I know, but they're so damned stupid. Anyway, I'm fresh out of gulls. So what can I do?
Therapist: Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
Patient: So what?!
Therapist: Things look darkest just before the sunrise.
Patient: You depress me.
Therapist: Into each life some rain must fall.
Patient: O God.
Therapist: At the end of the rainbow is a pot of gold.
Patient: You ass!
Therapist: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never touch me.
Patient: I hate you.
Therapist: That's it, get it out. That's what a guru's guru is for - the transference of hostility and aggression inevitably accumulating from your own clients' hatred and abuse.
Patient: I think I'll kill myself.
Therapist: That's the end of your hour. See you next week.
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