Were it possible, I would require readers of this "'Special" chapter to pass certain necromantic tests and swear to secrecy concerning what you may herein learn. None the none, I have no right to keep from you - whoever buys a copy of this book ¹ - the secrets which you are about to have Unfolded to you.

Anthroposophists in Ancient Andulusia, Parsees in Prehistoric Persia, and Cabalists in Contemporary Kansas would give their best frog teeth and beezel sprouts to know what you are about to Know.

Hidden within this book have been subtle but unmistakable hints of Deeper Wisdom. Here it is!

But modern, uninitiated readers must first be Prepared before being given the Truth. Unless you, reader, approach this Knowledge in the Proper Frame of Mind and with the necessary Respect, this chapter could seem like gibberish, or, at best, pleasant nonsense. Let me assure you, then, that this chapter is the Backbone of your Guruship.

Without the Knowledge revealed (for the first time ever in Human History) in this chapter, your Guruhood would lack any Real Power. You would be a fraud, a hoax, a Rosicrucian without a rose, a freemason without any freedom and a mystic without any mist.

With this Knowledge you can begin to win friends and influence customers, and give people a Piece of your Mind. Best of all it will Make your practice, for with these techniques you can explain anything.

You must understand that as a Modern Guru, your whole reputation rests on your being able to explain things to your customers which never before seemed important to them. Your job: make certain hitherto unknown questions seem Vital and Burning. Then give Amazing Answers to these questions. All the better if your Answers, as in this chapter, can be used to explain everything.

The Hidden Mystery behind any successful Guru is the impression people get that he is somehow Different, perhaps even Superior. And what makes a Superior-seeming guru seem superior? His own feeling that he is superior. And what body of Knowledge makes him feel superior? The Arcane Cosmotheism of Levels!

Levels contain within it a whole universe of meaning, a never-ending Cornucopia of Ideas with which to amaze your disciples. Where shall we begin? With you.

You are busily reading this book, mentally rubbing your hands over the prospect of setting up a lucrative Guru practice in Tulsa or Duluth. Inevitably, your understanding of this book is going to be on a very low Level. For years you have been reading a lot of trash about yoga, metaphysics, clairsentience, gross national product, and psychographology. You have gone to hear this or that pseudo-guru, attended this or that business managements seminar, until now you are almost totally confused. You are at the lowest possible level of awareness and knowledge (not considering understanding).

Somewhere on a level High Above you are those people who understand the Principle of Levels (which includes, not incidentally, those who can write chapters on Levels). They are not deluded, like you, into thinking that everyone is the same, that every person has the same powers and knowledge, that there is no difference between ordinary people, like you, and those at Higher Levels who understand Levels.

Quite by accident, in one of my extensive journeys to the mysterious East, I came across an ancient book in a dimly-lit bookstall in a shoddy section of the downtown area of Pittsburgh. I still remember the heightened emotion I experienced as I blew away the dust from the cover, pried off a large bird stain, and discovered the words of the Title: THE GRIM GRIMMOIRE OF RAZIEL.

It was, of course, a translation from the ancient, and now largely forgotten, language of Osco-Umbrian. Fortunately, I still had some knowledge of the archaic dialect - having majored in out-of-the-way things in junior college - and could bear out the translation as authentic. Opening the first pages of the book I was completely taken aback to find a name I had never dreamed of finding: Eduarde Babbit Glastonbum. "Ex Libris," the bookplate read, "this is from the library of Eduarde Babbit Glastonbum."

Many of my readers may never have heard of Viscount Glastonbum, his day and its happy memories (as well as the civility and plain common decency of that era) being now only a dim memory. Old E.G., as many of us, his friends, were wont to call him (behind his back) was one of the first Levelites (a name, or rather, title, which we adopted in Cairo ², in June of 1911.)

      For a few moments I was caught up in reverie, wondering how it had come about that this book of his should gravitate to this place and now into my hands. My ruminations were cut short by the ancient Transylvanian (for so her accent seemed to mark her) squeaking something to me about not reading the book if I didn't intend to buy it.

Immediately I pulled myself up into the Eleventh Level of Consciousness - a trick which E.B. himself had taught me - and feigned complete disinterest in the precious tome. To carry out this deception, I moved about the fetid hole, gazing here and there at the blur of old issues of National Geographic and Mad Comics. For I was enraptured, but could not let on. The pernicious old bookseller would have trebled the price had I shown the slightest interest in the volume. As I was leaving the shop, I pointed my finger at the aging book lying on the discard table and indifferently asked the price. Something in my voice must have given me away, for immediately an alien lustre came into the termagant's eyes.

"One dollar and a half," she rasped, smiling her hideous smile.

"A bit high for a worthless old manuscript," I said in a calm voice. And with that the prize was mine!

The book, written by Zohar Enoch, contained The Secrets of Levels, which you are about to learn.

Everything - absolutely everything - exists on a certain level. Take money:

• the poor (level 1)
• the middle-class (level 2)
• the upper class (level 3)
• the Globalist Corporation Executives (level 17).

Political power levels

• voters (-1),
• ward bosses (3)
• candidates (3 3/4)
• elected officials (20)
• some newspaper and TV conglomerate owners (37)

You can make up your own levels concerning a particular subject - as illustrated to the right. No matter how you do this it will almost necessarily impress your disciples. Of course, some gurus get carried away with the idea of levels. One I know began putting deodorants in various levels - and ran into understandable disagreement from his students. Always deal with abstract things - or at least things no one can have an informed opinion or personal taste about.

The dynamic of the levels concept is in making an invidious distinction between you and all other people. An Exalted Person who can teach about Levels is automatically on a higher level than others. Never identify the level you're on - intimate that it is so vastly much above your disciples that they could not understand that level - and that numbers cease to have any meaning at your Super-Numerary level.

I had studied the idea of Levels for years - since some of the more successful Modern Gurus use it in their practices. I figured it gave them some psychological power over their followers - beyond being something to "explain" and "discuss." Then old E.B. revealed the secret to me.

I well remember the night he first announced to our small group, in a sottovoce, that we were on the lowest conceivable level of understanding, and that those who understood the Arcane Cosmotheism of Levels (which included him) were on a vastly superior level above us. When we asked the Viscount to explain this imponderable mystification, he only grinned.

The Sacred Secret revealed - as always - not through what Glastonbum said but what Glastonbum didn't do.

¹ This book contains the super-normal power of Knowing if you have actually purchased this book or are merely attempting to purloin its Mystical Force by reading it surreptitiously in a bookstore or borrowing it from your friend, Harold. This Magick Book only Imparts its Powers to those who have paid for it (and have a receipt to prove it).

² Cairo, Illinois